today as i was typing furiously in hopes of spilling out something resembling an essay (due in about an hour), i realized i couldn't concentrate. i couldn't concentrate because the strings of profanity and clunking were back, along with the mob of men they were coming from. the roofers.
i kept trying to work, but instead just got more and more frustrated.
and so in all selfishness and pride, i devised an ingenious plan of gentrifying the neighborhood... by making my new early morning neighbors into, well gentlemen. i would teach them about the rain in spain falling on the plain and everything. actually, i'd just offer them tea. the hope was that they would A) know i knew they were there and B) become instant gentlemen because someone treated them like one (i had read in mere christianity that God treats us like sons even before we are sons just as children need their parents to speak to them like they understand before they understand and in order so that they will one day understand - yes i was that arrogant)
so i boiled the water and brushed my teeth.
then bravely opened the back door and said as sweetly as possible, goodmorning, would anyone like some tea?
and they, surprised, were quiet (finally) for a moment, then all smiled and said, ohh, thank you, that's all right.
and i said, are you sure? ok then! bye! and rushed back into the safety of my room. (i'm actually quite afraid of social encounters)
so now i'm the one drinking tea...they only quieted down a little, so i don't know if i've actually made much difference or if they'll be quieter tomorrow...
but for some reason, i'm a lot more happy and ok with them. i think they were actually quite lovely in their little group. i don't really hear the profanity no more but rather it occurs to me that what they're saying is stuff that makes up a community - and a nice one too. instead of hearing the coarse way it was said, i just hear the words "have somebody help you!" there's something endearing about a group of loud noisy men who get up really early in the morning and chatter with each other as they work.
now there are only a few of them left and it is finally quiet.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
something that made me =):email from a spiffy girl about how God works in her life and how she has just started doing pods in her dartmouth fellowship! "i named ours godpod :) (since harry podder was pretty much a unanimous "no" ) " God works differently for everyone, but it's exciting when you can find similar themes in how He works in you and in the people you love! I think that reinforces the trust :)
something strange: emily gave me a pair of earplugs which i really enjoy wearing...all the time. i feel protected...and am wearing them right now. i wonder if i shall wear them out on the street.
something i've discovered: i'm interested in life and how people experience life - not so much in the intellectual, philosophical way, not even the sociological or political way of power or policies, but in simply learning and experiencing and being passionate about life, the world, people-- not really issues, but life which exists in every moment. issues interest me insofar as they seem to prevent people from really living and developing fully as human beings. the whole experiencing life thing doesn't even have to be the chance to live luxuriously or achieve entry into the land of opportunities(which i believe sometimes thwarts living), but rather really living, having a great meaningful adventures wherever you are, whatever you're doing (you don't even have to be "doing" something), which i believe only occurs when you have a worthy reason to live. which is why i like being at preschool, because the whole day is focused around discovering and growing and developing relationships -and everyone's ok with that! in fact, it's impossible to truly understand larger ideas of life and living if you haven't gone through the processes of experiencing and exploring life firsthand. which is why pure indoctrination saddens me. which is why i'm interested in how society influences our abilities to think and live fruitfully. which is also why i loved being with my kids this summer because it was a time of expressing and discovering one's right to fully live even when society and circumstances claimed otherwise. anyway, i think the first step is to realize that life is now. what we're doing now is not just another step in preparing for something worthwhile, but each moment we live is a very important part of life, whatever our experiences may be. it's about the process, not necessarily the outcome. because it's really the process that develops and makes who we are. it's really in the process that we live. the outcome just happens. so what does this mean for some girl without an idea of what she's doing next year? i guess that it doesn't matter where i am next year, because i'm living this year. and whatever/wherever next year is doesn't matter as long as i'm living it and experiencing God/life (if i'm still alive).
something brave: emily and i finally hung out with our neighbors!
something strange: emily gave me a pair of earplugs which i really enjoy wearing...all the time. i feel protected...and am wearing them right now. i wonder if i shall wear them out on the street.
something i've discovered: i'm interested in life and how people experience life - not so much in the intellectual, philosophical way, not even the sociological or political way of power or policies, but in simply learning and experiencing and being passionate about life, the world, people-- not really issues, but life which exists in every moment. issues interest me insofar as they seem to prevent people from really living and developing fully as human beings. the whole experiencing life thing doesn't even have to be the chance to live luxuriously or achieve entry into the land of opportunities(which i believe sometimes thwarts living), but rather really living, having a great meaningful adventures wherever you are, whatever you're doing (you don't even have to be "doing" something), which i believe only occurs when you have a worthy reason to live. which is why i like being at preschool, because the whole day is focused around discovering and growing and developing relationships -and everyone's ok with that! in fact, it's impossible to truly understand larger ideas of life and living if you haven't gone through the processes of experiencing and exploring life firsthand. which is why pure indoctrination saddens me. which is why i'm interested in how society influences our abilities to think and live fruitfully. which is also why i loved being with my kids this summer because it was a time of expressing and discovering one's right to fully live even when society and circumstances claimed otherwise. anyway, i think the first step is to realize that life is now. what we're doing now is not just another step in preparing for something worthwhile, but each moment we live is a very important part of life, whatever our experiences may be. it's about the process, not necessarily the outcome. because it's really the process that develops and makes who we are. it's really in the process that we live. the outcome just happens. so what does this mean for some girl without an idea of what she's doing next year? i guess that it doesn't matter where i am next year, because i'm living this year. and whatever/wherever next year is doesn't matter as long as i'm living it and experiencing God/life (if i'm still alive).
something brave: emily and i finally hung out with our neighbors!
Monday, October 27, 2008
some mid day
prayer request: baby evelyn (the baby on my computer screen - brian lee's friends' adorable baby - has a scalp infection!) - er the request is to pray that she gets better and she grows up to be beautiful and wonderful
---
the danger with the online blog is that there is a tendency to package yourself into something -well packageable, and at the same time interesting (which to me seems paradoxical). the goal is for people to see you for "who you are" - except how can that be possible when they get a packaged form instead of some living soul who as it turns out, is boringingly similar to everyone else (or maybe excitedly so) in their core struggles (pride, insecurity, lust, anger, whatever).
i don't even really believe that we're all the same. but it's when we rely on those little quirks and "unique personalities" to define us, find worth, or even save us that it becomes so troublesome. because as it turns out, we're not even true to those quirks.
i think that goes for everyday life too. trying to be someone different, or at least same and likeable.
the wise young david lee caught me embracing a sophomore the other day and saying never leave me! come back to ucw!! and then 2 minutes later trying to lure a freshman in by promising her hugs every week. i told him it was better than luring them in with the promise of food, but he said it was the same. which is true. i told lillian later that maybe instead of trying to make church (or ourselves) attractive, we should just be honest - maybe the occasional honesty and seeing people as "real" is most attractive, even more attractive than food.
so rather than this being a place for being "real," i'm going to just give the disclaimer that this may very well be a packaged me despite some honest feelings. in fact, i'm ok with that if that makes some room for being real in real life, wherever that is.
one other unrelated note...i don't know how i think . jason and esther were talking about how they think the other time - i think i just daydream rather than think - which is why i never know what i'm doing and often misplace things (in fact, today i walked home at noon and began a process of taking off what i was wearing and putting something else on without realizing what i was doing)
a glimpse into what fills my head: today i was sitting on cross campus in the nice nice sun, worrying about skin cancer because i hadn't put on sun block when i saw the lovely bianca. we smiled and waved and i thought about how much i liked bianca. then a a bee began to buzz around me and i thought, i saw bianca, and now i' tormented by a bee. the alliteration severely interested me and i wondered what endless connections bianca had with the bee, and whether the verb "to be" could apply, if bianca could be a bee what would she be like or if, being narcissistic, what i would feel like, to be bianca, or the bee or bianca as the bee. this is like the ancient chinese guy:
"Once Zhuang Zhou dreamed he was a butterfly, a f1uttering butterfly. What fun he had, doing as he pleased! He did not know he was Zhou. Suddenly he woke up and found himself to be Zhou. He did not know whether Zhou had dreamed he was a butterfly or a butterfly had dreamed he was Zhou"
---
the danger with the online blog is that there is a tendency to package yourself into something -well packageable, and at the same time interesting (which to me seems paradoxical). the goal is for people to see you for "who you are" - except how can that be possible when they get a packaged form instead of some living soul who as it turns out, is boringingly similar to everyone else (or maybe excitedly so) in their core struggles (pride, insecurity, lust, anger, whatever).
i don't even really believe that we're all the same. but it's when we rely on those little quirks and "unique personalities" to define us, find worth, or even save us that it becomes so troublesome. because as it turns out, we're not even true to those quirks.
i think that goes for everyday life too. trying to be someone different, or at least same and likeable.
the wise young david lee caught me embracing a sophomore the other day and saying never leave me! come back to ucw!! and then 2 minutes later trying to lure a freshman in by promising her hugs every week. i told him it was better than luring them in with the promise of food, but he said it was the same. which is true. i told lillian later that maybe instead of trying to make church (or ourselves) attractive, we should just be honest - maybe the occasional honesty and seeing people as "real" is most attractive, even more attractive than food.
so rather than this being a place for being "real," i'm going to just give the disclaimer that this may very well be a packaged me despite some honest feelings. in fact, i'm ok with that if that makes some room for being real in real life, wherever that is.
one other unrelated note...i don't know how i think . jason and esther were talking about how they think the other time - i think i just daydream rather than think - which is why i never know what i'm doing and often misplace things (in fact, today i walked home at noon and began a process of taking off what i was wearing and putting something else on without realizing what i was doing)
a glimpse into what fills my head: today i was sitting on cross campus in the nice nice sun, worrying about skin cancer because i hadn't put on sun block when i saw the lovely bianca. we smiled and waved and i thought about how much i liked bianca. then a a bee began to buzz around me and i thought, i saw bianca, and now i' tormented by a bee. the alliteration severely interested me and i wondered what endless connections bianca had with the bee, and whether the verb "to be" could apply, if bianca could be a bee what would she be like or if, being narcissistic, what i would feel like, to be bianca, or the bee or bianca as the bee. this is like the ancient chinese guy:
"Once Zhuang Zhou dreamed he was a butterfly, a f1uttering butterfly. What fun he had, doing as he pleased! He did not know he was Zhou. Suddenly he woke up and found himself to be Zhou. He did not know whether Zhou had dreamed he was a butterfly or a butterfly had dreamed he was Zhou"
morning thoughts
i cannot feign coolness by writing only once in a while...moderation appears not to be my forte...(in many forms this is so - whether it be lots and lots of food or songs over and over again, or every episode of every tv show or lots and lots of sleep - something must be said about addictive behavior/ gluttony)...so since somethings going to be taking over my life, it might as well be a lot of typing and a little thinking ...it'll be good practice for my essaying later today (hopefully).
so i thought i was going to class, but early this morning the roofers came by (as they have been doing everyday for the past week) and started working right outside my window (as in, i can hear every word they say to each other)...basically they now have a large dumpster outside my window and a long chute connected to the buildling next to ours which they use to clank and clunk chunks of what i assume to be the roof from the next building down into the dumpster. and so i woke up before i was supposed to. and laid in bed half asleep half awake until i missed class. i fantasized about going outside and asking them what was going on and if they could please be quiet so i could sleep - then i thought how self-centered that was - and changed the plan so that i would ask them if maybe we could work out a deal where they could come in and nap too - then we would all be friends - i also have a pretend friendship with the really cool old hippy man who plays songs on his ukelele/guitar thing at the corner of my street every day...in my imagination we are the best of friends and hang out in front of the british art museum every afternoon at 4pm -tea time, i, frolicking and dancing the monkey dance and him, playing millions of wonderful ballads, and together, enjoying the beautiful new haven fall, his long flowy...facial hair fluttering in the wind and attracting dozens of plump babies to come play with us...one of these days i will say hi to him.
anyway, so when i woke up (sorta) i thought,the only thing i wrote i'd do today was go to my 930 class and i didn't even do that, so it's silly to rely on and make make believe plans about the future.
nevertheless, i'm really excited about life... i just have to get out of bed.
---
my quiet time (in bed) <- a la ridiculous crude fortune cookie humor
"the terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self- all your wishes and precautions -to Christ. but it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call 'ourselves,' to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be 'good'. We are all trying to let our mind and heart go their own way - centred on money or pleasure or ambition-and hoping, in spite of this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly. And that is exactly what Christ warned us you could not do."
- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
i realize that even when i try to be good, thinking i'm giving myself up to christ by giving up some things i want to do or think(but what turn out to be "wrong"), when i try to be a little better of an alice, willing myself to forgive, to be loving, to study for more than -er- 10 minutes, to think about someone other than ME, to be more secure about who God has created me to be by serving my way even when i see others, more loving and witty and smart doing a "better" job with all their natural strengths... at the heart of it, i'm still hoping all the time that after i meet all the demands of "being good" my poor self will have some chance to do what it likes and keep a bit of its own little life. cs lewis says this is because we're still taking our natural self as the starting point. But today when all my wishes and hopes for the day rush at me, i hope to push them back and listen to that other voice, letting that larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in, if not just for the moment to start. i used to wonder why the church exists - it exists not to have mission or education projects, not to have services or even to make friends, least of all to make us good religious people- but to draw us into Christ and make us like little Christs. "And there are strange, exciting hints in the Bible that when we are drawn in, a great many other things in Nature will begin to come right. The bad dream will be over; it will be morning."
yes first thing's first, get out of bed and get a burrito.
so i thought i was going to class, but early this morning the roofers came by (as they have been doing everyday for the past week) and started working right outside my window (as in, i can hear every word they say to each other)...basically they now have a large dumpster outside my window and a long chute connected to the buildling next to ours which they use to clank and clunk chunks of what i assume to be the roof from the next building down into the dumpster. and so i woke up before i was supposed to. and laid in bed half asleep half awake until i missed class. i fantasized about going outside and asking them what was going on and if they could please be quiet so i could sleep - then i thought how self-centered that was - and changed the plan so that i would ask them if maybe we could work out a deal where they could come in and nap too - then we would all be friends - i also have a pretend friendship with the really cool old hippy man who plays songs on his ukelele/guitar thing at the corner of my street every day...in my imagination we are the best of friends and hang out in front of the british art museum every afternoon at 4pm -tea time, i, frolicking and dancing the monkey dance and him, playing millions of wonderful ballads, and together, enjoying the beautiful new haven fall, his long flowy...facial hair fluttering in the wind and attracting dozens of plump babies to come play with us...one of these days i will say hi to him.
anyway, so when i woke up (sorta) i thought,the only thing i wrote i'd do today was go to my 930 class and i didn't even do that, so it's silly to rely on and make make believe plans about the future.
nevertheless, i'm really excited about life... i just have to get out of bed.
---
my quiet time (in bed) <- a la ridiculous crude fortune cookie humor
"the terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self- all your wishes and precautions -to Christ. but it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call 'ourselves,' to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be 'good'. We are all trying to let our mind and heart go their own way - centred on money or pleasure or ambition-and hoping, in spite of this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly. And that is exactly what Christ warned us you could not do."
- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
i realize that even when i try to be good, thinking i'm giving myself up to christ by giving up some things i want to do or think(but what turn out to be "wrong"), when i try to be a little better of an alice, willing myself to forgive, to be loving, to study for more than -er- 10 minutes, to think about someone other than ME, to be more secure about who God has created me to be by serving my way even when i see others, more loving and witty and smart doing a "better" job with all their natural strengths... at the heart of it, i'm still hoping all the time that after i meet all the demands of "being good" my poor self will have some chance to do what it likes and keep a bit of its own little life. cs lewis says this is because we're still taking our natural self as the starting point. But today when all my wishes and hopes for the day rush at me, i hope to push them back and listen to that other voice, letting that larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in, if not just for the moment to start. i used to wonder why the church exists - it exists not to have mission or education projects, not to have services or even to make friends, least of all to make us good religious people- but to draw us into Christ and make us like little Christs. "And there are strange, exciting hints in the Bible that when we are drawn in, a great many other things in Nature will begin to come right. The bad dream will be over; it will be morning."
yes first thing's first, get out of bed and get a burrito.
This Past Week
CONFESSION: i've had generations of little blogs that i don't tell people about because i'm blogshy and like being the one -er stalking...and plus i don't like seeming narcisistic - even tho i am. or be pressured to seem smart or cool - even tho i am -jk... or to write coherently - because i'm too cool for that (refer to previous statement)- again, just kidding - i actually secretly covet the ability to think coherently and to write in a non-stream of consciousness manner, but am working to be excited about who God has made me to be- and believe it or not, this blog thing is one way of being brave and i'm hoping to try this brave thing out.
something favorite: music video of the week: new soul (<===makes me think of heaven because she moves into a new place all by herself with just the pictures of her friends, but once she pushes down the walls, she realizes not only is she in the middle of a beautiful lake, but all her best friends are coming to find her on inflatable rafts!) i'm so fascinated by it and maybe it's because we're all longing for heaven and yearn for eternity in relationships - (it wouldn't be the same if it was just her by herself on some lake) and to think that you can one day play forever with people you have lost touch with or grew apart with or didn't have the time to get to know!
something exciting: alumni came to visit for parent's weekend. apparently who we think of when we think of rap is what dates us...i think of eminem - BUT THERE were people who thought of tupac and vanilla ice! (the freshmen, some born in the 90s and aka pokemon generation, think of kanye west)
something embarrassing: calling jesse at the safety dance and singing loudly and off-key into his voicemail, the chorus to "jesse's girl" ....only to later realize i had stored his mom's number as his and had left her the message.
something weird: today i was at the cafe at bass when two large, athletic boys plopped themselves at my little table without asking and started talking about monkeys, girls, and menopause with each other (3 subjects i personally consider myself an expert on - jk....)... then they talked about how they could make the rookies do things for them (and i thought of how their system is much nicer than OUR system of being nice to freshman and creating spoiled little beasts! - again, jk, freshmen are awesome and beautiful)...the three of us sat there for the next couple of hours without making eye contact. i decided i didn't mind the company that much, then thought about how i could exploit the situation for a sociological exercise since i usually have to people watch anyways. it also provided me with the extra benefit of being able to hear what they were saying oh so very clearly...tho i thought if i took notes they might leave.
something wonderful: i love my godpod. we keep having these long godpods where we don't even realize the time and i love the girls so much!
something good: after spending many of my (rare) waking hours and energy on chinese dramas and many many sit coms, i have gotten very disgusted and have given up tv - EVEN HOUSE, MD...so now i have lots of time for daydreaming - and hopefully time for praying and working and spending time with my children.
something new: I GOT TO PLAY WITH MAY'S COUSIN WHO IS A FRESHMAN HERE!! proof (he's the one on the left...the one on the right is the wonderful, young kevin shen...we're going to explore a really cool place on thursday. let me know if you want to come!!!)
something i need prayer about: my family is going thru rougher times than we've had before, but i know God will take care of us =)
something favorite: music video of the week: new soul (<===makes me think of heaven because she moves into a new place all by herself with just the pictures of her friends, but once she pushes down the walls, she realizes not only is she in the middle of a beautiful lake, but all her best friends are coming to find her on inflatable rafts!) i'm so fascinated by it and maybe it's because we're all longing for heaven and yearn for eternity in relationships - (it wouldn't be the same if it was just her by herself on some lake) and to think that you can one day play forever with people you have lost touch with or grew apart with or didn't have the time to get to know!
something exciting: alumni came to visit for parent's weekend. apparently who we think of when we think of rap is what dates us...i think of eminem - BUT THERE were people who thought of tupac and vanilla ice! (the freshmen, some born in the 90s and aka pokemon generation, think of kanye west)
something embarrassing: calling jesse at the safety dance and singing loudly and off-key into his voicemail, the chorus to "jesse's girl" ....only to later realize i had stored his mom's number as his and had left her the message.
something weird: today i was at the cafe at bass when two large, athletic boys plopped themselves at my little table without asking and started talking about monkeys, girls, and menopause with each other (3 subjects i personally consider myself an expert on - jk....)... then they talked about how they could make the rookies do things for them (and i thought of how their system is much nicer than OUR system of being nice to freshman and creating spoiled little beasts! - again, jk, freshmen are awesome and beautiful)...the three of us sat there for the next couple of hours without making eye contact. i decided i didn't mind the company that much, then thought about how i could exploit the situation for a sociological exercise since i usually have to people watch anyways. it also provided me with the extra benefit of being able to hear what they were saying oh so very clearly...tho i thought if i took notes they might leave.
something wonderful: i love my godpod. we keep having these long godpods where we don't even realize the time and i love the girls so much!
something good: after spending many of my (rare) waking hours and energy on chinese dramas and many many sit coms, i have gotten very disgusted and have given up tv - EVEN HOUSE, MD...so now i have lots of time for daydreaming - and hopefully time for praying and working and spending time with my children.
something new: I GOT TO PLAY WITH MAY'S COUSIN WHO IS A FRESHMAN HERE!! proof (he's the one on the left...the one on the right is the wonderful, young kevin shen...we're going to explore a really cool place on thursday. let me know if you want to come!!!)
something i need prayer about: my family is going thru rougher times than we've had before, but i know God will take care of us =)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
apparently (according to victor) thanks to the financial difficulties in iceland, my opportunistic friends and i can now go to iceland for $550 (roundtrip +hotel)
despite our "early morning" meetings (side story: i once woke both devin and sasha up to plan our trip at 10:30 on a monday. when i went into devin's room, he cleverly tricked me into turning off the lights for him so he could continue sleeping by saying "he wanted to conserve energy." i then attempted to get devin out of bed by searching in his bible for the proverb about how sleep brings about poverty - proverbs 24:33-34: "A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest, then your poverty will come as a robber..." but when i flipped open the bible, I came straight to proverbs 25:17 - "Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor's house, too much of you and he will become weary of you and hate you.") the plan is no longer to go to xinjiang during winter break (to "study" child welfare, china, and islam for my, devin, and sasha's majors respectively) but instead, to go to iceland before our (sasha, kathy, alice, devin, jesse, colin, kate,and ariel) finals (which i now have none - on friday, the drop deadline, i dropped the one class i would have had a final in so i could go home a week earlier *side story: as i made the final decision to drop my class, some poor girl was in the dean's office (and also a panic attack) with a bloody nose, so i ended up bringing her to yale university health services, yuhs, better known as DUH (side side story: the authorities at yale don't like the name "duh" - department of undergraduate health - anymore because they think it looks like "duhhhhh". in fact, it does look like duhhhhh: once a friend was hospitalized and we tried to visit her and asked where she was. she wrote "yale duh"...we thought she meant yale new-haven hospital and that, in her misery, she had developed a big attitude. we forgave her 'tude since she was in pain, then went to yale-new haven and searched for her in vain before realizing we were on the wrong side of campus) and missed a cool class- but it's ok cuz i got to hear about her superawesome activities and live vicariously through her as well as think about how we're all like wonderful little specks of dust with little busy lives...anyway i guess it's ok that i dropped the class since i decided to take the class after developing a girl crush on the cute japanese lady professor who taught the first two lectures... and i'm still going to class tomorrow at 930 anyway. for fun -in case you were wondering, the class is immune biology) ...we're probably going for 3 days. so 3 days in iceland, then come back, write all my papers, and collapse on the airplane home...or to california...whichever family i miss more - or maybe both if i bartend enough for another plane ticket...
my family (in chicago and california)is relieved. having told me i should do what i thought was good when i asked for their permission to go, they later decided xinjiang was a terrible place to go (this is like the time my mom called and gave me this wonderful speech about how she wanted me to choose my own path in life, then pausing and coming back to say, oh just kidding, daddy wants you to be a doctor) for the past week i've been receiving calls about how they worry i'll freeze to death and/or get kidnapped and sold as a wife, neither of which sounded very appealing but we still wanted to go. devin said we had to pretend to be his wives since it wouldn't be appropriate for unmarried girls to be traveling with a boy. thank God He had other plans.
despite our "early morning" meetings (side story: i once woke both devin and sasha up to plan our trip at 10:30 on a monday. when i went into devin's room, he cleverly tricked me into turning off the lights for him so he could continue sleeping by saying "he wanted to conserve energy." i then attempted to get devin out of bed by searching in his bible for the proverb about how sleep brings about poverty - proverbs 24:33-34: "A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest, then your poverty will come as a robber..." but when i flipped open the bible, I came straight to proverbs 25:17 - "Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor's house, too much of you and he will become weary of you and hate you.") the plan is no longer to go to xinjiang during winter break (to "study" child welfare, china, and islam for my, devin, and sasha's majors respectively) but instead, to go to iceland before our (sasha, kathy, alice, devin, jesse, colin, kate,and ariel) finals (which i now have none - on friday, the drop deadline, i dropped the one class i would have had a final in so i could go home a week earlier *side story: as i made the final decision to drop my class, some poor girl was in the dean's office (and also a panic attack) with a bloody nose, so i ended up bringing her to yale university health services, yuhs, better known as DUH (side side story: the authorities at yale don't like the name "duh" - department of undergraduate health - anymore because they think it looks like "duhhhhh". in fact, it does look like duhhhhh: once a friend was hospitalized and we tried to visit her and asked where she was. she wrote "yale duh"...we thought she meant yale new-haven hospital and that, in her misery, she had developed a big attitude. we forgave her 'tude since she was in pain, then went to yale-new haven and searched for her in vain before realizing we were on the wrong side of campus) and missed a cool class- but it's ok cuz i got to hear about her superawesome activities and live vicariously through her as well as think about how we're all like wonderful little specks of dust with little busy lives...anyway i guess it's ok that i dropped the class since i decided to take the class after developing a girl crush on the cute japanese lady professor who taught the first two lectures... and i'm still going to class tomorrow at 930 anyway. for fun -in case you were wondering, the class is immune biology) ...we're probably going for 3 days. so 3 days in iceland, then come back, write all my papers, and collapse on the airplane home...or to california...whichever family i miss more - or maybe both if i bartend enough for another plane ticket...
my family (in chicago and california)is relieved. having told me i should do what i thought was good when i asked for their permission to go, they later decided xinjiang was a terrible place to go (this is like the time my mom called and gave me this wonderful speech about how she wanted me to choose my own path in life, then pausing and coming back to say, oh just kidding, daddy wants you to be a doctor) for the past week i've been receiving calls about how they worry i'll freeze to death and/or get kidnapped and sold as a wife, neither of which sounded very appealing but we still wanted to go. devin said we had to pretend to be his wives since it wouldn't be appropriate for unmarried girls to be traveling with a boy. thank God He had other plans.
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