Today I am thinking about knowledge.

My thoughts are more like light particles and less like light waves.

I try out definite statements but a moment later I'm struck with the realization that again I'm not sure about that (or anything?), everything scrambles around again and my statement becomes a volatile particle again in a jumble of mess. Not even a question. A question at least feels coherent - but rather an evasive, uncertain, insecure taunting, unreachable ...something...

There is something beautiful about the coherency of words and thoughts. "So I asked her if language had anything to do with reality. "Don't words refer to something?"

I believe there to be truth and that words are not meaningless...

"...'Of Jesus it is said, "In the beginning was the word... And the word became flesh and came among us.' Words ...are meant to reflect God's purpose for our lives. In this truth we will find life to be coherent.

I just have trouble figuring out what I am thinking/reflecting. I cannot even be certain that I am sleepy right now.


And beyond words: " Jesus once said that our bodies were meant to be temples of the living God. Only when we understand what it means for our lives to be the temple of God can we understand what living means and how coherence is born. For you see, life is not made sacred by going to a place of worship; life already is sacred and that is why it moves us to a place of worship. In this sense, wherever you are, you cannot leave without the temple. Profane it and reap incoherence; keep it sacred and harmony ensues."

Words, knowledge, body, harmony. Not there yet, still chaotic thoughts.

Is it something in us being created in His image? Is that a clue?


"The Christian story is about a God who goes out of his way to know and to be known, to offer us his name, to call us by name, to show us he is worth knowing and loving. Jesus came near so that God would be fathomable. And yet how unfathomable is a God who comes near? There is so much to life and mystery that is unplumbed by our own minds, even as it is held in our minds and in minds long before our own. Why do we have these minds? Why this instinct to search and know? How is it that we should know God by name, or know the voice of the Son? And how shall we respond to the kind of God who invites a love of knowing him: "This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know'" (Jeremiah 33:2-3)."


I am sleepy.

According to Jill Carratini, The word epiphany has the quality of vision and introspect, reality and awakening. She says, "As one who loves words, I like to think of all epiphanies as having been inspired by the first Epiphany, when the Word became flesh and defined for us the meaning of vision, reality, meaning, and wakefulness."

She quotes T.S. Elliot (from the perspective of one of the pagan magi)

Birth or Death? There was a birth, certainly,
We had evidence, and no doubt I had seen birth and death.
But had thought they were different, this Birth was
hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our palaces, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
with an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

Carratini:" Coming in contact with the Christ, proclaims Eliot, waking to the Child who was born to die is in a sense like dying ourselves. Though the poem seems to strike a somber note, it is a proclamation echoed triumphantly throughout the New Testament. The apostle Paul speaks readily of life in Christ using the words and imagery of death. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me" (Galatians 2:20). Uttering a similar connection between loss and epiphany, Jesus proclaims, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39). "

I think I often fight to keep myself from dying. Especially now when I am tired or worried (always some excuse) I find I am fighting very hard to give myself more time to rest or be by myself (perhaps not going out and helping someone when I know I have a chance to). Yet I find that when I decide to show love and treat someone kindly (rather than garner love or resources for myself) I am a lot more joyful. I wonder why it works like that.